<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Nuclear Fallout by rnedagemacaroni</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26649487">Nuclear Fallout</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rnedagemacaroni/pseuds/rnedagemacaroni'>rnedagemacaroni</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Domestication is Key [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcoholism, Attempted Suicide, Established Relationship, Humanstuck, M/M, Mentions of Mental Illness, happy ending I promise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:55:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,322</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26649487</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rnedagemacaroni/pseuds/rnedagemacaroni</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The fight to end all fights.</p><p>Sollux was never good at handling arguments when they reached a certain point and Eridan was never good at handling the aftermath.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Domestication is Key [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Fallout</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is stupid you tell yourself, rolling your bi-colored eyes for the millionth time in the past hour.</p><p>Arguing between you two was a normal everyday thing, though it was usually about small petty stuff like whose turn it was to do the dishes or why wasn't the trash taken out, little things that really didn't matter at the end of the day. Perhaps that's how this argument started as well, but you were far too irritated to try and remember. </p><p>To be honest, however, you're not entirely sure why Eridan is still standing here arguing with you. You had told him all about your bipolar disorder back towards the beginning of your relationship and it was in full swing right now. Really he knew better than to keep arguing with you when you're like this, but he's also a stubborn fucking asshole with too much pride to back down when you get like this.</p><p>At one point he really did try to walk away, but you were the one who followed him and kept making nasty, snide remarks to him that you would probably regret later.</p><p>For now though, your brain kept telling you to argue, to be mean and nasty, to hurt the man standing in front of you. So that's exactly what you did.</p><p>"Jesus, ED," You raise your voice slightly, "Could you be anymore annoying than you are right now?"</p><p>He turned on you so fast you almost had to jump back to avoid coming into contact with him.</p><p>"<em>I</em>'m bein' annoying!?" He asks incredulously, putting his hand on his chest for emphasis, "Excuse me, Sol, but <em>I </em>tried to be the mature one and walk away!" He jabbed his finger in your chest, "<em>You're </em>the one followin' me around like a bad ex continuin' this argument!"</p><p>You slapped his hand away with more force than you probably should have, "Don't fucking touch me." You warn in a low voice.</p><p>He withdraws his hand, but the fire doesn't leave his eyes nor does the venom in his voice at your warning, "Ha! Who would want to touch you, you filthy greasy dirtbag."</p><p>"Oh <em>so </em>sorry I don't have a maid on retainer waiting to wipe my ass for me like you do <em>Mr. Ampora.</em>" You say with as much indignation as you could possibly muster, "Besides last I checked you had <em>no </em>problems touching me last night, <em>babycakes.</em>" You lean in close to whisper in his ear.</p><p>"Sol," He said your name firmly, "You better get outta my space if you know what's good for you."</p><p>You laugh, standing up straight and taking a step back, "You know what, I finally have you all figured out."</p><p>Eridan rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, "Is that so?" He asks you, uninterested, "And just what, pray tell, do you have all figured out?"</p><p>"Why you have no friends and are constantly fighting with your family," You say smugly, enjoying the way your boyfriends face falls slightly, "You're an arrogant pompous douche and you're a complete asshole, but the worst thing about you is how  you try to act so fucking innocent and like you're the goddamn victim in every situation."</p><p>His face is turning red in anger and you can tell he's really struggling with keeping his mouth shut. That won't do for you though, you're angry and you want an argument, you've hit pretty low and if you're miserable than he has to be also. That's how this works.... Right?</p><p>"You're ridiculously clingy and the nosiest bitch on the fucking planet that no can stand being around you!" You're yelling at this point and now for the final nail in the coffin, "No wonder your mom died, it was the only way she could get away from your whiny ass!"</p><p>You barely registered him moving before you felt his heavily ringed fist collide with the right side of your face, sending you flying into the wall, slumping slightly. You didn't have much time to gather yourself before he's grabbed the front of your shirt, pulling you up and slamming you against the wall, knocking the wind out of you. He punches you several more times as he holds you to the wall.</p><p>"You leave my mother outta this you lispin' <em>FREAK!</em>" He screams.</p><p>That makes your blood boil and you regained enough of your senses back that you didn't care that you were about to break the cardinal guy code or whatever, but you (using your hands to defend your face) swung you leg up and kneed Eridan in the crotch as hard as you could.</p><p>He cries out, his hands flying down to hold himself as he crumples into a pathetic pile on the floor. At this point you're being fueled by unfiltered anger and extreme aggression. You wipe your bleeding (hopefully not broken) nose on your arm and then kick the man on the ground as hard as you could, forcing him to roll over onto his back. You sit on him and start punching him with all your might, which admittedly isn't as much as you were hoping for. Let's face facts, your thin gangly frame and tiny noodle arms really weren't made for brawls of any kind.</p><p>Eridan on the other hand was definitely more suited for this with his toned swimmers body, muscles on his arms showing he actually went to the gym and tried to take care of himself. This fact made it easy for him to shove you off of him once he recovered from your crotch shot. You bother shot up at the same time and honestly it all became a blur at that point, fists flying, bodies being thrown into and against anything and everything until you and him were completely worn out.</p><p>He was leaning against the door frame leading to the living room breathing heavily, holding his bloody nose (the only real solid punch you landed). You were slumped on the floor against the wall across from him, holding your left side (you hit the hallway table pretty hard).</p><p>Eridan stood up straight as best he could and hobbled down the hall to your shared room. He came back moments later with his bag slung over his shoulder and jacket in hand. He walked straight past you and to the front door without even looking at you.</p><p>He opened the door, but before he walked out he threw over his shoulder, "I'm leavin', fuck you Sol, don't bother callin' me because I ain't pickin' up for you." He walked out before you had a chance to say anything, slamming the door behind him as hard as he could.</p><p>You flinch slightly as the door slams, you don't bother to get up, electing to wallow right where you were. You exhale a slow, shaky breath and <em>fuck </em>you must have hit that table harder than you thought because it hurt like a motherfucker. You hit the back of your head against the wall a few times and you realize how quiet your apartment is right now.</p><p>You don't like it.</p><p>You finally stand up, albeit slowly because your whole body hurt. You walk to the bathroom and turn on the light, looking in the mirror at yourself. You looked like absolute shit, your lip was busted, your nose was still gushing pretty bad, your right eye was swollen and already a lovely shade of black and blue sitting amongst all the cuts on your face, undoubtedly from Eridan's rings. You grab a hand towel and wet it a little in the sink, holding it to your bleeding face as you lift up your shirt to assess the damage there. Yup, just as you thought, more bruises.</p><p>You sigh and let go of your shirt, letting it fall back into place. You pull the towel away from your face, seeing now drenched in your blood. You throw the towel harshly into the sink as if it had personally offended you.</p><p>You sigh again and walk out of the bathroom and back into the hall, furrowing your eyebrows at the damage. Pictures had been knocked off the walls, some of the frames broken and the glass shattered, the hall table had been knocked hard enough that the lamp had been knocked off apparently as it laid on the floor in pieces. Damn. You had actually really liked that lamp.</p><p>You walked over and picked up one of the pictures and looked at it. It was that really nice one Eridan had of his mom. With the frame broken, when you picked it up something else fell out. You picked it up and saw it was a newspaper clipping, his mothers obituary. You looked at  the date and <em>SHIT. </em>No wonder Eridan had been so off today and had been so short with you and looking like he wanted to cry all day.</p><p>Shit, shit, <em>SHIT. </em></p><p>You pulled out your phone from your pocket and fuck the screen was cracked! It must have hit something while you guys were fighting. You shake your head, <em>"Focus, Sollux!" </em>You think to yourself, unlocking the screen and dialing the number you know by heart. You know he said not to call, you know he's upset with you, furious at you, but dammit you have to at least try.</p><p>Of course he sends you straight to voicemail, you still try several more times, each time, straight to voicemail. <em>FUCK!</em> You open your messages, he'll at least read what you have to say... Right? You had never typed faster in your life and thank God for auto-correct because your hands were shaking and your fingers hurt like hell. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you leaned back against the wall, sliding down until you were sitting on the floor. You ran an aching hand through your hair and looked back at your messages and you saw the words 'read' had appeared under the message you sent.</p><p>"C'mon Eridan, you've never left me on read before," You mutter to yourself out loud, "Baby, please answer me..." You beg.</p><p>You almost have a heart attack when your phone suddenly starts ringing, you jump and look to see who could be calling you. Your eyes widen when you see who it is.</p><p>You sit up straight and answer the phone as quick as you can, holding it up to your ear, "Eridan! I'm so sorr--"</p><p>He interrupts you, "Sol, we're done, it's over."</p><p>You stop, your breath feels like it's just been sucked out of your body, "....What?" Your voice is shaking.</p><p>"You heard me," He sounded so cold to you, unapologetic, "You crossed a line you shouldn't have and I'm not puttin' up with it or givin' you the chance to pull that shit again."</p><p>"E-Eridan, please, don't--" You try and say something, but he won't let you.</p><p>"We're through," He tells you, "Have a nice fuckin' life Captor."</p><p>And with that he hung up on you, not even giving you an opportunity to try and explain yourself.</p><p>You sit there frozen, your phone still pressed to your ear even though there was no one on the other end anymore. This has to be a joke, a sick, sick joke. You couldn't believe it. Fuck it though, it was all your fault. <em>You're </em>the one who kept wanting to argue, <em>you're </em>the one who started talking shit and <em>you're </em>the one who said things that shouldn't have ever been said.</p><p>You hadn't realized how ragged your breathing had become or how you suddenly couldn't see past all the tears in your eyes. Your whole body shook with each sob that escaped you.</p><p>You dropped your phone to the floor and ran your fingers through your hair, gripping it tightly and tugging on it harshly, hanging your head as you continued to cry.</p><p>"FUCK!" You shout as loud as you can, slamming a fist back against the wall before tugging at your hair again.</p><p>You must have been on auto pilot because you don't even remember picking up your phone and dialing a number, the only way you were aware is when suddenly there was a very loud voice in your ear.</p><p>"Well if it isn't the shitlord himself, gracing me with the time of fucking day," Karkat (your best fucking friend in the world) said, "I'm surprised you were able to pull yourself away from your hipster boyfriend long enough to even think of me."</p><p>You really tried to hold it together, you really did, "K-KK," You sobbed, "He's gone, h-he fucking left." You managed to say through your tears.</p><p>There's a brief silence from the other end and when Karkat speaks again, he's much quieter than before, concern laced in his voice.</p><p>"What do you mean he's gone?" He asked you gently as he could, "Sollux, what happened?"</p><p>You stood up and started pacing up and down the destroyed all, "I-I don't know, some stupid shit and I said something I shouldn't have and he's gone KK, he-he--"</p><p>"Sollux, you need to calm down," Karkat interrupts you, "I'm on my way, don't do anything stupid, I know how your mind works." You take several deep breaths.</p><p>"This is so stupid, I'm a fucking idiot," You've stopped crying at this point, now you just sound angry and frustrated, "This is bullshit!"</p><p>You punch the wall and you know Karkat had to have heard the loud crack and <em>shit </em>you might have just broken a finger or two or possibly your whole hand based on on the pain shooting through it.</p><p>"Dammit, Sollux," Karkat curses, "I'm in my car and on my way, please for the love of all that is good on this shithole planet do <em>NOT</em> do anything fucking stupid. I'm hanging up, I'll be there in twenty minutes."</p><p>You toss your phone on the hallway table and beeline for the kitchen, you had a secret stash of booze hidden at the back of the pantry. Eridan never liked you drinking so much so while you cut down on your consumption, you always kept yourself well stocked.</p><p>You pull out the Jack Daniels and don't even bother pouring it into a glass or anything, you uncap it and start chugging straight from the bottle.</p><p>By the time Karkat gets there, you're already 3/4 done with your 750ml bottle of Jack and laying on your bed on your back, one leg swung over the side, bottle of Jack clutched tightly in your right hand, your left arm draped over your eyes.</p><p>Karkat walks into your bedroom (he had a spare key so he had let himself in) and he takes notice of your condition.</p><p>"What the shit, Captor," He says, "I told you not to do anything stupid." </p><p>"Oopth..." You say, your lips extremely apparent with the booze in your system, "My bad." you sounded decidedly unapologetic.</p><p>Karkat sighs, he certainly had his work cut out for him....</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Fall To Pieces</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your name is Karkat Vantas and you were currently enjoying an evening with your newly acquired boyfriend, Dave Strider. Like today was your first official date night, newly acquired.</p><p>You were both cuddled up on your couch watching some romcom Dave had never even heard of, which had personally offended you, when your phone suddenly started ringing. You had every intention of ignoring it until you saw who it was that was calling you.</p><p>Sollux.</p><p>Again, normally you would have ignored the call, but you know that him and Eridan had been fighting a lot lately and you didn't want to risk missing a call wherein he might actually need help.</p><p>You pause the movie and answer your phone, giving Dave your version of an apologetic look (which wasn't really all that apologetic), "Well if it isn't the shitlord himself gracing me with the time of fucking day," You say, trying to sound as casual as someone like you possibly could, "I'm surprised you were able to pull yourself away from your hipster boyfriend long enough to even think of me."</p><p>There was only the briefest of pauses before, "K-KK," The sob came through and it broke your heart instantly. You had only ever heard or seen Sollux cry once before and that was when his mom had died, "He's gone, h-he fucking left." He cries to you.</p><p>You stand up suddenly, earning you a confused raised eyebrow from the blonde sitting on your couch, you ignored it though, lowering your voice as you finally spoke, "What do you mean he's gone?" You notice Dave get up and leave the room, "Sollux, what happened?"</p><p>You try to understand what he's trying to say, but it's hard over his crying and hyperventilating. Dave comes back and he's got your keys and wallet with him, holding them out to you as he comes to stand next to you. You look at him and silently thank him, taking the items from him.</p><p>"Sollux, you need to calm down," You finally say, "I'm on my way, don't do anything stupid, I know how your mind works."</p><p>Dave gives you a quick kiss on your cheek before shoving you out your front door, telling you to be careful and not to break too many speeding laws. You flip him off and run down the hall as Sollux goes on about being and idiot and things being bullshit. You took the stairs down to the parking garage instead of taking the elevator which was notoriously slow. You get to your car in record time when you hear a loud bang and crack come form the other side of the phone.</p><p>You turn the key in the ignition while pressing the gas peddle because fuck, your car was old and broken down and it always took a few tries to get it started.</p><p>"Dammit, Sollux," You say as your car finally starts, "I'm in my car and on my way, please for the love of all that is good on this shithole planet <em>don't </em>do anything stupid, I'm hanging up, I'll be there in twenty minutes."</p><p>You do as you said and hung up, speeding out of the parking garage and out to the street. While trying to abide as best as  you can to speed and traffic laws it takes you almost a whole hour to get across town to where Sollux lived because <em>fuck </em>you actually DID get pulled over for speeding and running a stop sign.</p><p>You park your car really shitty in front of his building, not really caring that you just took up two spots, you have bigger problems right now. You jump out of your car and run into the building and up to the fourth floor where you know his apartment is. Halfway down the hall you're trying to find his apartment key on your key ring when you drop it on the floor. You curse to yourself, picking up the keys.</p><p>"Keep it together, Karkat," You say to yourself as you stop in front of Sollux's door, "Sollux is the one falling apart here, keep it together for him."</p><p>You turn your key in the lock and open the door. You take one step in and pause when you see the destroyed hallway, glass and broken frames, blood on the walls and floor, a broken lamp, holes in the walls. You step fully inside the apartment and close the door behind you. Walking down the hall, avoiding the glass as best you can you go to look for your friend. You peek into the living room and saw that it was empty, same with the kitchen except in there something caught your eye. You walk over to the open pantry and notice his 'secret stash' bottle of Jack was missing.</p><p>You sigh and leave the kitchen, heading towards the bedroom. You open the door and there he was, Sollux Captor, in all his drunken glory. You shake your head and walk over to him, "What the shit, Captor," You say to him, "I told you not to do anything stupid."</p><p>"Oopth..." He slurs to you, his lisp even worse than usual, "My bad." He doesn't sound sorry at all.</p><p>You take a moment to really look your friend over and, "You look like shit or dare I say even worse than shit, what the fuck happened?"</p><p>"Thtupid thit ith what happened." He replied almost unintelligibly as he sat up from where he was laying on his bed. </p><p>You watched him as he raised the bottle to his lips, ready to take another swig of it, but you were quicker than him. You grab the bottle from him which earned you a heated glare, but you didn't care.</p><p>"I saw the hallway," You said, "And you look like you got hit by a sixteen wheeler so what. the <em>fuck. </em>happened?"</p><p>He sat on the edge of the bed looking at you for a moment before making a desperate grab for the bottle again, but you stepped back quickly, holding the bottle away from him which almost caused him to fall flat on his face. He sat back up straight as best he could, swaying back and forth a bit despite his best effort.</p><p>You took a little over an hour to get here, how much had he had to drink you wondered as you waited for him to start talking.</p><p>He sighed, then hiccuped before talking, "...Eridan and I got into a fight," He said falling back onto the bed, "Th-thomething about I dunno what..."</p><p>You look confused, "Okay, but you guys argue all the time, it's never this--"</p><p>"I inthulted hith mother," He interrupts you, "I don't remember what thtarted the argument, but that thtarted the fight." He explained.</p><p>"Why would you say that," You asked, shocked, you weren't privy to all the happenings in Eridan's past, but even you knew that was just something you didn't bring up, "Even you aren't that stupid I should hope."</p><p>He covers his face with his hands, "I don't know, I was angry and annoyed and I forgot to take my meds this morning!"</p><p>You could see his body shaking as he started crying again, you really weren't used to seeing him cry so openly considering his usual emotional range consisted of boredom, annoyance and sarcasm, so this was the exact opposite and you really almost didn't know how to handle it.</p><p>"So you thought wallowing and getting drunk would help the situation?"</p><p>He sat up again at that, glaring at you with his tear streaked face, "You know what, fuck you KK," He yelled at you, "If you're jutht going to judge me then get the fuck outta here."</p><p>You rolled your eyes at your friends drunken dramatics, you knew this is why Eridan didn't like him drinking a whole lot, he was an entirely different person and you really never knew what side of him you were going to get.</p><p>"And fuck Eridan, too, while we're at it!" He yelled more, wiping at his face, "That fucking prick! Who doeth he think he ith!?"</p><p>He stood up wobbly, having to grab onto the nightstand to keep himself steady and upright, he pointed and unsteady finger at you, "Do you even <em>know </em>how much of hith thit I put up with and how inthufferable he ith!? Lemme tell you, KK, he--"</p><p>He didn't finish his sentence and you could see it all happen, he slapped a hand over his mouth and you could almost see him turn green when all of a sudden he lurched forward and started throwing up on the floor. You shot forward in record time, setting the bottle down on the nightstand, grabbing the trash can by said nightstand and holding it up to the puking individual in front of you so he's throwing up into it instead of on the floor.</p><p>You move him to sit back down on the bed and get him to hold the bucket himself. You sit down next to him and rub his back a little, sighing.</p><p>"You're a real fucking mess, Sollux," You say and all he does is flip you off while he dry heaves into the bucket.</p><p>You take the bucket from him when he finishes and set it to the side, standing up you look at him (he's sweaty and pale and breathing heavily and just generally looks terrible), you gently push him so he's lying down on the bed.</p><p>"Okay, Sollux, here's how we're doing this," You say firmly to him, "I'm going to get you some water, you're going to sleep this off, and we're going to handle the rest of this shit in the morning when you're sober."</p><p>"Fuck off, KK." He slurs, but doesn't fight you.</p><p>You roll him onto his side just in case and grab the bottle of Jack off the nightstand on your way out. You go to the kitchen and pour the rest of the alcohol down the sink and grab a cup from the cabinet, filling it up with water. You also grab paper towels and a wet soapy cloth to clean up the mess in the bedroom.</p><p>When you walk back into the room you see that Sollux is where you left him, except he's now on his phone, staring angrily at it while he scrolled through something. You don't say anything as you cross the room and set the glass of water on the nightstand before working on getting the vomit cleaned up off the floor. Look at you being the best fucking friend ever. You glance up to see Sollux looking angrier and scrolling faster.</p><p>You were about to say something when he suddenly just stood up and stormed out of the room. You questioned it, but didn't say anything, instead just finished your task. You had just finished when you hear yelling from the kitchen.</p><p>You rush in to find Sollux on the phone, bottle of Jameson open in his hand this time.</p><p>"You're thuch a little fucking bitch you know that?" He yells, taking several large gulps of alcohol, "You thtrut around like you've got the biggetht fucking dick when really you're jutht a walking chode you fucking puthy, fuck you Eridan!" He hands up immediately after.</p><p>He chugs more before he notices you standing there, "What?" He asks aggressively, narrowing his eyes at you.</p><p>"I didn't think he would answer you." Is all you say.</p><p>"He didn't, it wath hith voicemail." He informed you, "He'll get it."</p><p>You raise and eyebrow at him, "I really don't think you should be calling him at all right now, you need to stop drinking, it's clouding your already fucked up sense of judgement."</p><p>"I'm an adult and I can do whatever I want, tho thut up." He says belligerently, taking another drink out of spite.</p><p>You furrow your brow, "Besides who even knows if he's going to check his voicemail if he sees it's you that's been calling."</p><p>He glares at you and finishes off the bottle in his hand, slamming the empty bottle onto the counter as he redials his phone, holding it up to his ear. He makes to move towards the pantry for more booze, but you move to stand in his way, planting yourself firmly in front of the cabinet. You cross your arms over your chest and stare the taller man down, daring him to try and move you.</p><p>He looked like he was going to say something to you, but his attention changed when he must have finally gotten Eridan's voicemail because he started talking into his phone again.</p><p>"You better lithen to your voicemail you piece of thit, you hear me?" He hisses, "You athhole, do you even realize how much I've done for you and you can't even give me five fucking minuteth to talk to you, you dumb motherfu--"</p><p>He turns quickly before puking into the sink, his whole body convulsing as he empties the contents of his stomach.</p><p>You sigh and walk over, grabbing his phone from him, setting it on the counter after hanging up the call.</p><p>"You are a huge fucking mess, Sollux," You turn the water on to start washing the bile down the drain, "You need water and sleep and don't even try to fucking argue with me."</p><p>You turn the water off once Sollux is done throwin up, only to notice his body is still shaking, you see that he's crying again as he's hunched over the sink.</p><p>"I fucked up, I really really fucked up," He cried, "You know," He looks at you sadly, leaning heavily against the side of the sink, "It'th a miracle he didn't leave me thooner..."</p><p>"You need sleep," Is all you repeat, "Let's get you to bed and we'll talk in the morning."</p><p>He sniffles and nods, not fighting you anymore as he lets you lead him back to the bedroom. He collapses face down on the bed and turns his head slightly to look at you.</p><p>"I'm thorry, KK," He sniffles again, "I love you." He slurs.</p><p>You take his glasses off for him and place them on the nightstand before throwing a blanket over him, "I know you do, dumbass," You reply, "And if I didn't love you too I wouldn't be here cleaning vomit off your floor and tucking your drunk ass into bed."</p><p>You're not even sure if he heard that last part because in just minutes Sollux's eyes are closed and he's snoring lightly. You shake your head slightly before leaving the room, turning the light off and closing the door behind you. You sigh and go into the living room and sit on the couch. You pull out your phone and call your boyfriend who picks up on the first ring.</p><p>"How'd it go?" He asks right away.</p><p>"It was a walk through the fucking park," You say as sarcastically as you can, "How do you think it went?" I just spent the last," You look at the clock above the doorway, "Hour and a half babying his drunk ass and I just finally tucked him into bed like the amazing fucking mother hen that I am, I even gave him a goodnight kiss to scare away the fucking monsters."</p><p>Dave did that cute little chuckle snort he does that you absolutely love, "Did you really?"</p><p>You try to sound as offended as possible, "Fuck no, Strider."</p><p>He chuckles again and there's only the briefest of pauses before he asks, "So how long will you be there?"</p><p>You chew your bottom lip as you think about that for a moment, "A few days probably," You finally say, "I can't leave him alone by himself after what I saw tonight so I'll need to--"</p><p>"Don't even finish that sentence, babe," Dave interrupted you, "I've already got you a bag packed and ready to go for you, just give me an address and I'll drive it over."</p><p>God you fucking loved him.</p><p>"I'll text you the address and make sure my work clothes are there, I can probably get most the week covered, but I'll have to go in tomorrow at least." You explain.</p><p>"Consider it done," He said, "Look at me, aren't I just the most boyfriend-y boyfirend to ever boyfriend in the history of boyfriends?"</p><p>"Strider, shut the fuck up and just get your ass over here."</p><p>"10-4 babe, but just admit you lucked out with me."</p><p>"Okay first of all, fuck you I don't have to admit anything and secondly," You feel your face heat up as you blushed, "I know I'm fucking lucky."</p><p>There was a small silence before Dave spoke again, "Say that again, but a little louder so I can take a voice clip of it."</p><p>You blush even harder, "Stop fucking around and hurry up over here," You hiss," But be safe and I love you, you fuckass." You don't even wait for a response before you hang up and send him the address.</p><p>You stand up and put your phone in your pocket and walk back out into the hallway. You decide you should probably try and clean some of this up as it's a serious hazard. You grab the broom, dust pan and trash can from the kitchen and set to work.</p><p>You picked up the larger pieces of glass and broken frames and threw them away along with the broken lamp. You picked up the pictures themselves and placed them in a neat pile on the hallway table before sweeping everything else up. It must have taken longer than you thought to get it cleaned up because before you knew it there was a knock on the door.</p><p>You open said door to find your boyfriend standing there with a decent sized travel bag slung over his shoulder.</p><p>"Strider delivery service with a package for one Karkitty Vantas." He says.</p><p>You bristle at the use of that hideous fucking nickname (and fuck Nepeta for giving it to you), but you don't say anything about it because he <em>did </em>just drive all the way across town to bring you clothes and toiletries.</p><p>"Thanks." You say as you reach out to take the bag, only to have Dave stop you.</p><p>"Ah, ah, ah," He wagged his finger at you, holding the bag out of your reach, "There is a delivery fee of one kiss, so pay up Vantas."</p><p>You blush horrendously, "Are you fucking serious!?"</p><p>"I never joke about the trading of goods," He said with a straight face, "Especially when the goods in question are your gorgeous lips on mine."</p><p>You're turning redder and redder with each word out of his mouth and you grab the front of his shirt and pull him down into a kiss, honestly to just shut him up. He instantly leans in, resting his hands on your hips, pulling you closer. You hum and grip the front of his shirt as he nips at your lip, enticing you to open them, which you do. He deepens the kiss for all of a moment before pulling away.</p><p>"I guess that'll do for payment," He says holding your bag out to you, "But I expect a rain check on that shitty movie we were watching."</p><p>You roll your eyes and try to sound as indifferent as possible, but you still looked guilty for ruining your first real date night, "Whatever you say."</p><p>He gives you a quick peck on the nose, "Alright, I gotta go, some idiot double parked their shitty ass Honda, so I had to park somewhere I shouldn't be."</p><p>You glared at him and slap him on the arm, "Just get the fuck out of here!" You know he's teasing you and knows it's your car that's parked so poorly.</p><p>Dave starts walking backwards down the hall, "Learn how to park Vantas or else you're going to continue to single handedly support every parking enforcement officer in the city."</p><p>You flip him off before slamming the door shut. You shake your head and walk into the living room, dropping your bag by the couch. You were tired and have a long day ahead of you tomorrow, you think as you kick your shoes off and lay down on the couch.</p><p>You really hope tomorrow is a better day, you really really hope so.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Collapse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Be warned there are mentions of attempted suicide in this chapter and if that makes you uncomfortable I would skip this.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You had a fitful night sleeping, one because their couch was a piece of shit and two because you were really worried about your best friend. You had no idea when you had finally gotten to sleep or for how long  you slept when you were woken up by a loud bang coming from the bedroom.</p><p>You get up from the couch, tripping slightly from the blanket that somehow got tangled up in your legs. You run to the bedroom and throw open the door to find Sollux hunched over on the floor throwing up into the bucket from last night (which, gross, because you forgot to empty it out). You realize the bang you heard was probably Sollux falling out of bed, rushing to get to said bucket.</p><p>When he finishes emptying his stomach he sits back, leaning against the side of the bed, trying to catch his breath.</p><p>"Fuck..." He mutters to himself.</p><p>You step into the room fully to make your presence known, "I hope you feel as shitty as you look with all the unnecessary drinking you did last night."</p><p>"KK, your voice is like nails on a chalkboard," He groans, "So kindly shut the hell up."</p><p>"Fuck no," You say, crossing your arms over your chest, "You deserve whatever physical discomfort you are going through right now as a direct result of all the alcohol you imbibed last night."</p><p>He falls over on the side, covering his face with his hands, "Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, shut up before I die."</p><p>You roll your eyes, walking over to him, grabbing the untouched water you left on the nightstand. You nudge the suffering man on the floor with your foot and hold out the water to him.</p><p>"Get up and drink some water you drunkard." You tell him, trying to keep your voice as quiet as possible because you were just that fucking nice and thoughtful.</p><p>He groans, instantly regretting it as the vibration of his own voice aggravate his splitting headache. He struggles to sit up and he blindly reaches out for the cup you're offering him. You have to direct the cup to his hand and when he has a firm grip on the cup he downs the whole thing.</p><p>You watch with slight amusement as the other man attempts to stand up, but really only manages to drape the top half of his body on the bed. Sollux never handled the morning after drinking very well.</p><p>"KK," He gets your attention, "Take me out back and shoot me like ol' Yeller because I'm dying, please, end my suffering."</p><p>"Not until you tell me about what happened yesterday," You say, "You were a complete fucking wreck, Sollux."</p><p>There was a long silence before Sollux sighed and slid back down to the floor, facing you.</p><p>"What did I already tell you?" He asks, "Because I really don't remember too much."</p><p>"Something about you guys were arguing, you said something about his mom and then you guys beat the shit out of each other."</p><p>He scrunches his face and you can tell he's uncomfortable with the conversation, "Well that's pretty much it." He said. </p><p>"Okay, but what happened after that," You push him to keep talking, "You said he left, which obviously he did as he's not here, but you guys are still together right?"</p><p>Sollux drew his knees up to his chest, resting his arms on his knees, looking away, chewing on his bottom lip, "...No."</p><p>That surprised you, your eyes widening a little bit, "You guys broke up?"</p><p>He glares at you, "That's what the 'no' implies."</p><p>You narrow your eyes back at him, "Don't get snappy at me, Captor, I'm not the one who fucked shit up."</p><p>The two of you stared each other down for a moment before he sighed again, "I know," He muttered, "Sorry..."</p><p>You nod, "What else do you remember from last night?"</p><p>"Not much," He admits, "I remember drinking a lot and making phone calls and please, please tell me I didn't call Eridan last night because I don't remember who I called..."</p><p>"That depends," You say, "Do you want me to tell you the truth or lie to you?"</p><p>He spreads his legs out on the floor in front of him, throwing his head back against the bed, covering his face with his hands, "Fuuuuuuuck..." He groaned.</p><p>"You called him several times going back and forth between yelling and being angry and crying and apologizing." You explain to him.</p><p>He ran his hands through his hair and then let them fall into his lap, "Great... As if he wasn't going to give me a chance before, now he's really not going to."</p><p>"You guys have had bad arguments in the past, maybe he just needs time to--"</p><p>"You don't get it!" He shouted at you, finally standing up, albeit a little wobbly, "I insulted his mother on the anniversary of her death and as if <em>that </em>wasn't bad enough I basically blamed his mom's death on him!"</p><p>"Okay, well what do you want me to say then, Sollux," You ask with irritation in your voice, "You fucked up and you lost your boyfriend for good because you're an insufferable asshole, does that sound better?"</p><p>He glared at you and shoved past you harshly, heading out of the bedroom and into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, "You know what, KK, fuck you."</p><p>You follow him towards the bathroom and lean against the door frame, watching him as he inspects his face, it still looks like shit from the fight, only today the bruises are darker and more prominent on his face.</p><p>You feel a little bad because you're kinda kicking him while he's down, "Sorry." You mutter.</p><p>He brushes his teeth and wipes his face on a damp towel and then turns to look at you, "I know you're just trying to help, but I don't think there's going to be any fixing this."</p><p>He brushes past you out of the bathroom, heading towards the kitchen, "I mean would <em>you </em>want to fix things after the shit that happened?"</p><p>You don't say anything as you follow him, you watch as he picks up his phone from where you left it on the counter last night.</p><p>"What the hell happened to my phone?" He asked to no one in particular as he turned the small device over in his hand, surveying the damage. The screen was cracked and there was a bizarre dried substance on said screen.</p><p>"It was busted up already when I saw it last night," You explain, walking over and taking a peek at the phone, "That dried shit is probably your own vomit because you started puking halfway through one of your hatemail messages to Eridan."</p><p>He stares at you for a moment before hanging his head, "Great, just when I was thinking this can't get worse, the universe proves me wrong and gives me the biggest middle finger ever."</p><p>You lean against the counter and watch him as he tries to clean off his phone, "So what are you going to do?" You ask hesitantly.</p><p>His movements slow down only briefly before he replies, his voice so quiet you almost didn't hear him, "I don't know..."</p><p>"Are you going to try and get him back?"</p><p>He sighs, "I don't know."</p><p>"Are you just going to leave it be then?"</p><p>He turns to you angrily, "I don't know, KK," He yells at you, "I don't fucking know, what part of that aren't you understanding!?"</p><p>"The part where you give up like a goddamn coward is what I'm not fucking understanding!" You yell right back at him.</p><p>"What am I supposed to do, huh?!" He asks, throwing his up in the air in frustration, "He won't pick up his phone apparently and he hasn't responded to any of the messages or voicemails I supposedly left him, I don't even know where he's at or who he's staying with so what exactly am I supposed to do!?"</p><p>"If you really loved him don't you think you should do whatever you could to get him back?" You growled at him, trying not to explode on the other because you know he's just hurt.</p><p>"This isn't one of your stupid romcoms, Karkat!" He's glaring daggers at you, "There isn't always going to be a happy ending, there's no cliche realizations and romantic declarations of love and forgiveness, there's no musical suite to set the mood for some cheesy ass kiss in the rain before the credits roll, this is it and obviously he wants nothing more to do with me..."</p><p>"Yeah well this whole gloom and doom attitude you have right now isn't going to help either," You tell him, "So what? You're really just going to give up?"</p><p>"Maybe I am, I don't <em>fucking</em> know!" He yells as he storms out of the kitchen, "Open your ears and listen!"</p><p>"I'm listening to a lot of fucking nonsense is what I'm listening to," You follow him out of the kitchen, "Sollux, you are so sickeningly head over heels for him it's disgusting really, I didn't even know you knew how to smile genuinely until you started dating him."</p><p>He doesn't say anything as he heads back into the bedroom, grabbing the puke bucket and carrying it to the bathroom.</p><p>"You always told me about how you were scared by how much you love his dumb hipster ass and how you never want to lose him."</p><p>He snorts as he dumps the contents of the bucket into the toilet and flushes it before moving over to the sink to rinse it out.</p><p>"What was all of that about?" You move and take the bucket from him, throwing it into the bathtub and then shove him so he's forced to look at you, "Do you really think that you should give up now after everything you two have been through? You know Eridan's dad hates you and I don't know what happened between you and his brother, but he doesn't seem to care much for you either and you guys really didn't exactly receive the warmest welcome when you came out senior year." </p><p>"Is there some grand final point to all of this?" He rolls his dual colored eyes at you.</p><p>"Yes there is a fucking point and I'm getting to it," You sigh, "Look, Sollux, you two have faced a lot of setbacks and a lot of road blocks, but you," You jab his chest with your finger, "Never gave up trying to show him how much you love him and show him how much you care about him which is nothing short of a fucking miracle considering normally you have the emotional range of a soggy lampshade.</p><p>You watch as Sollux's expression changes from angry and irritated to sad and somewhat guilty.</p><p>"The point is," Your voice and expression soften, "You never gave up before with everything being thrown at you so don't give up now, it may seem pretty shitty right now and honestly it is, but you've always managed to prove yourself to him before so why should now be any different?"</p><p>You really felt like that would get through to him, but you actually face/palm when he speaks.</p><p>"This isn't like those times," He said moving around you to leave the bathroom, "There's no point in trying, it's over, he made that perfectly clear."</p><p>You groan and follow him as he goes back into the room and lays down on the bed, "Just leave me alone, KK." He mutters.</p><p>You sigh running a hand down your face, "I will, but only because I have to get to work soon." You say, looking at your watch, "I'll be back after my shift so really, please, don't do anything stupid."</p><p>He rolls over on the bed so his back is facing you and he lazily waves his hand as a sign that he heard you and you turn to leave, looking back briefly.</p><p>"Don't forget to take your medicine." You say after a moment.</p><p>"Whatever you say Mama."</p><p>You roll your eyes, but watch him worriedly for a moment before leaving to actually get ready for work.</p><p>An hour later had you standing behind the customer service counter and the local bookstore. Really why they kept putting you here at the counter baffles you because even you know you have a very low tolerance for stupidity which is 90% of the questions, comments and concerns you receive.</p><p>You lean against the counter, chewing on your nails (a nasty habit, you know), thinking about everything going on. Sollux never handled rejection well, nor did he handle booze very well, both of which he dealt with intensely yesterday. You knew how much Sollux loved Eridan and how it must be tearing him apart on the inside to have the other man break things off so suddenly and without a chance to even attempt to fix things and you also knew that Sollux struggled with alcohol in the past and it was only when he started dating Eridan that he started backing off the stuff, didn't need it anymore. Sollux struggled with depression, anxiety and his bipolar all of which he took medication for and missing even one day of it could sometimes really mess him up so if he was off his medication plus everything else it really only spelled disaster in your mind. You sigh and manage to keep your worst-case scenario thoughts to a manageable level while you worked through to your lunch.</p><p>You sat in your car on your lunch, staring at your phone. You flip through your contacts and take a deep breath before hitting the call button on one and holding the phone up to your ear. Your heart feels like it's going to beat out of your chest while you listened to the trilling of the line when on the third ring you hear,</p><p>"Hello?" Eridan's voice came through the receiver.</p><p>You clear your throat, "I almost didn't expect you to pick up for me."</p><p>A brief silence before, "What do you want, Kar?"</p><p>You chew on your bottom lip slightly and decide to just go for it, "Would you please give Sollux a call, he's a fucking mess right now."</p><p>Eridan snorts, "So he called you over to lick his wounds for him, did he?"</p><p>"And so what if he did?" You asked, pinching the bridge of your nose, "Look, I didn't call you to argue with you, I know what happened yesterday and I know what he said to you, but is that really a reason to throw it all away."</p><p>"You know after a while it gets real hard to tell myself that everythin' is okay and that it'll all work out at the end a' the day."</p><p>"I've known his nerdy ass since the second grade, I know how miserable he can be sometimes, but it's not his fault most of the time." You quietly add the last part, "Just give him a chance to explain himself."</p><p>"And how many more chances should I give him, Kar?" He sounded irritated, "How many more times do I let him get away with this shit with just a slap on the wrist?"</p><p>"You're not exactly easy to handle either." You say.</p><p>"Kar, there's a difference between me yellin' at him for not usin' a coaster and the shit he pulled last night," He explained to you, "And by the way I got <em>all </em>his voicemails."</p><p>You wince mentally at that, "Okay, he was a complete ass, but still--"</p><p>"Stop defendin' him!" He raises his voice at you, "You think you're helpin' him and all you're actually doin' is enablin' his bad behavior!"</p><p>"Listen, Ampora," You snap at him, "I know that he fucked up, you know he fucked up, <em>he </em>knows he fucked up! But at least he was trying to fix it, he still loves you, he's just shit at showing it especially when his bipolar is acting up, you of all people should know that!"</p><p>Eridan doesn't say anything so you continue.</p><p>"I know that this is a lot worse than any other arguments you guys have gotten into and I know that he was real shitty about it all last night," You sigh, "But you guys are one of the strongest couples I've seen and you guys always bounce back because you guys love each other, I mean you still love him, right?"</p><p>There's a long silence before Eridan sighs, "Kar, I really don't know what you're expectin' to hear, but I'm just not sure if I feel the same about him as I did before."</p><p>You swallow hard because, damn, you really hadn't been expecting to hear that.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Kar," Eridan continued, "Maybe we're just not as strong as you thought we were."</p><p>"You guys can still--" You start, but he interrupts you.</p><p>"I have to go." His voice is shaky and you could tell he's trying not to cry.</p><p>"Eridan--"</p><p>"Goodbye, Kar." And with that he hung up.</p><p>You hit your forehead on your steering wheel and groan, "Why are my friends such dumbasses!" You yell out loud.</p><p>You huff and look down at your phone and sigh, your lunch was almost over so you open your messages and quickly text Dave, asking if he could check on Sollux to make sure he hasn't died. You tried to make it sound as light hearted as possible, but you were actually really worried.</p><p>You send the message and get out of your car and head back into work. You growl slightly as you see the line formed in front of your counter and, as previously stated, 90% of the questions were always the dumbest fucking questions and it was a miracle you weren't fired for some of the shit you said to them. That had taken you a hot minute to get the line down and when the last customer was gone your boss approached you, telling you that you had a phone call waiting. That confused you, who would be trying to call him here?</p><p>You pick up the phone at your station, "This is Karkat speaking, how may I help you?" You say with your fakest customer service voice possible.</p><p>"Karkat."</p><p>It was Dave, but... He sounded so serious, there was no playfulness in his voice whatsoever.</p><p>"Dave, what's--"</p><p>"You need to get back here right now." He interrupted  you.</p><p>Your heart rate shot through the roof instantly, fear gripping you, "What happened?" It wasn't even much of a question, more of a demand to know, "Is it Sollux? What's going on?"</p><p>"Just get your ass over here." And with that he hung up and really, you were getting real pissed off with people doing that to you today.</p><p>You leave work, stating a family emergency and  you race over to Sollux's apartment (good thing the bookstore was only five minutes away).</p><p>If you didn't have panic gripping at the very core of your being before, you certainly did now when you pulled up and there was an ambulance with it's lights flashing parked in front of the building.</p><p>You park your car quickly and race up to Sollux's apartment fast as you could and your heart almost stopped in your chest when you saw the apartment door open and an EMT standing just outside the door talking with Dave.</p><p>You run up and grab Dave by the front of his shirt and pull him down to your eye level, he didn't seem fazed by this at all, "What the <em>fuck </em>is going on!?"</p><p>"Are you Karkat Vantas?" The EMT (a middle aged woman) asked you.</p><p>You turn to her, "I am," You answer, letting go of Dave, "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"</p><p>"Well all we can gather is the call was for an unresponsive male who was bleeding," She explains, We got him conscious enough to get some vague information out of him before he passed out again and all he would repeat was something about air? Eri-something and your name."</p><p>You have a million thoughts running through your head as you look into the open door of the apartment and you see a trail of blood leading from the bathroom to the kitchen. You could hear the woman asking you something about medicine or pills or some shit like that, but your mind was focused on whatever was happening inside the apartment. You walk past Dave and the woman and into the apartment, heading straight for the bathroom, your eyes widening at what you see, there's a bloody razor sitting on the floor amongst a pretty sizeable pool of blood.</p><p>Dave walks up beside you, the EMT right behind him, "Karkat you need to pay attention and answer her questions, we really need some answers here."</p><p>You ignore him and make to move towards the kitchen, but Dave grips your arm firmly, holding you in place.</p><p>"I really don't think you want to go in there." He warns you.</p><p>You glare up at him, really wishing you could see his eyes because him and his stupid fucking shades make him so hard to read. You jerk your arm out of his grip and follow the trail of blood to the kitchen. Your eyes widen and you audibly gasp at what you see, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.</p><p>"What the fuck..." You say in shaky voice.</p><p>There was Sollux, slumped against the cabinets on the floor, covered in his own sick, foaming slightly at the corners of his mouth, his arms covered in cuts and blood. There were two other EMT's in the kitchen with Sollux, one working on trying to keep him awake while taking his vitals (Sollux's eyes were half open, but not really focused on anything), while the other worked on getting a gurney ready so they could transport him.</p><p>The lady EMT put a hand on your shoulder and spoke to you gently, "Your friend here," She motioned to Dave, "Told us you would be able to help us figure out what would be in his system."</p><p>You look at her in confusion, "What do you mean? Alcohol obviously." You said to her like she's fucking stupid.</p><p>She shook her head, "We figured that out by all the bottles lying around."</p><p>You looked at the counters and there were several large empty bottles of booze.</p><p>"There's something else in his system, he's obviously over dosed on something," She continues, "But we need to know what kind of medication he was taking if any, are they prescribed to him, is it something he got off the street?" </p><p>You run your hands through your hair and try to keep calm, your breathing a little shallow, "I mean, he... Well yeah... I-I guess.." You struggle to gather your thoughts.</p><p>Dave grabs one of your hands in his, using his other hand to grip your chin gently, making you look at him, "Deep breaths, calm down, you gotta tell us what you know so we can help him."</p><p>You listen to him and nod, taking a deep breath. Dave let go of you and you take another deep breath, facing the EMT again.</p><p>"He takes prescriptions for his bipolar and depression and I think something for his anxiety..." You tell her, "I know he keeps his the bottles in the top drawer of his dresser..."</p><p>She nods and heads off to the bedroom, probably to go look for the bottles. You bite your nails as you watch the other two load Sollux's motionless body onto the gurney.</p><p>Dave pulls you close and kisses the top of your head, "They're gonna help him, he's gonna be okay."</p><p>The other came back from the bedroom with several empty bottles in her hands and your heart sinks, Sollux must have taken all of his medication in some low drunken stupor. The woman hands the bottles to the other EMT's and speaks to them in a low voice, before turning and walking back over to you. She gives you a soft smile.</p><p>"With all the information we're going to take him to Providence," She explains as the other two wheel Sollux out of the apartment, "You're more than welcome to follow us, but I don't know how soon they;ll let you see him, this is a pretty serious situation."</p><p>You sigh and nod, "We'll follow." You look up at Dave who nods at you.</p><p>The three of you head down to where the ambulance is and Sollux is being loaded up.</p><p>"We'll take my car," Dave says, "I parked down the street, let me go bring it around."</p><p>You nod, still in a bit of a daze over everything going on. As Dave runs off to get his car, your phone starts ringing. You pull it out of your pocket and look at who could be calling you. You furrow your brow in slight anger.</p><p>You hit answer and hold the phone to your ear, "What do you want?"</p><p>Eridan answered you with the same irritation you were showing him, "I want you to tell Sol to stop fuckin' callin' me, I just got outta work and had thirty some messages from him and they were all over the place, most a' them not very pleasant."</p><p>You weren't sure if it was because you were just overwhelmed by everything or if it was the anger you were currently feeling for the man on the other side of the phone, but you started crying. You didn't even have the strength to yell right now, you just sounded defeated at this point.</p><p>"That may not even be a problem or concern soon..." You manage to say through your tears.</p><p>"Kar?" He suddenly sounded worried, "What's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>With everyone loaded up into the ambulance, they turned on the siren and sat there for just a moment before driving off. Eridan obviously heard the siren.</p><p>"Kar, what was that?" He demanded to know, panic laced in his voice, "What's goin' on?"</p><p>Dave drives up in this moment and you wipe your tears on your shirt sleeve as you walk around to the passengers side.</p><p>"Wouldn't you like to know, Ampora." You say with venom in your voice as you get into the car and close the door, "Look, I have to go." You say, mocking his goodbye to you from your earlier phone call.</p><p>"Kar, don't you dare hang up--"</p><p>"Goodbye, Eridan."</p><p>You hang up and put your seat belt on, Dave already driving off to follow the ambulance, his right hand resting on your leg. You rest your hand over his and stare out the window biting your nails again. You take a deep breath as you try not to fall apart.</p><p>You knew you had a bad feeling about today.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Recovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's dark when your eyes start to flutter open and you don't think you even really feel like you're waking up, it feels more like you're just kind of coming into being. You're definitely disoriented, that's for sure.</p><p>You have no idea where you are, you're lying down in what you assume is a bed, there's a consistent beeping sound and the room is dark save for a small light in the corner. Even with the dim light, though, you didn't have your glasses on so you couldn't make much out, just blurs and vague shapes. You try to move your left hand to try and search out your glasses only to find it apparently hooked up to something so you really couldn't move it, not that you wanted to as it hurt like hell when you moved it. You tried your right arm only to find the same thing, pain shooting up and down your arm.</p><p>You hiss loudly, "Fuck..."</p><p>You suddenly hear movement from across the room, causing you to jump a little as you squint your eyes, hopelessly trying to make out anything.</p><p>"Sollux?" You hear as someone approaches you.</p><p>You'd know that voice anywhere, "Karkat?" You cringe at the sound of your own voice, it's all scratchy and gross like you haven't used it in a while.</p><p>"Holy shit, you're awake!" Karkat says loudly enough that it kind of makes your head hurt a little.</p><p>You hear him move away and a door open before you hear him calling for someone. He flips the lights on and holy shit if you thought you couldn't see before, the light was absolutely blinding.</p><p>Karkat is by your side in seconds, grabbing your glasses off the bedside table and putting them on your face for you. Suddenly everything came into focus and you saw that you were in a hospital room, which explained the beeping sound (your heart monitor). You glanced down at yourself briefly and holy fuck how many tubes and IV's did you have going in and out of you and why were your arms wrapped like you were a goddamn mummy?</p><p>"KK, what happened?" You ask, so very confused.</p><p>He looked at you with worry etched across his face, "...You don't remember anything?"</p><p>You really tried to recall something, anything really, but you were just drawing a blank. You're about to try and ask Karkat a question, but there was a knock at the door and a nurse walked in, she was young, but pretty plain looking. Like you couldn't pick her out of a line up of one plain. </p><p>She give you a soft smile as she approaches your bed, "Mr. Captor, it's good to see you awake." She grabs the clipboard at the end of your bed and starts writing your vitals down on it.</p><p>You look between her and Karkat, "How long have I been out?"</p><p>The nurse is still scribbling on her clipboard as she answers, "You've been out for four days now," She looks at her watch, "Four and a half actually."</p><p>"Four days!?" You bellow in disbelief, "What the hell happened that I was out for four days!?"</p><p>You looked to the nurse who continued to focus on what she was doing and Karkat who seemed hesitant to say anything.</p><p>Karkat looked like he was going to say something, but the nurse spoke up first, "Alright, Mr. Captor, your vitals are good so I'm going to get your doctor and let him know you're awake," She said with a smile, "Mr. Vantas would you join me out in the hall?"</p><p>Karkat nodded and followed the nurse out into the hall without question, leaving you sitting there still extremely confused.</p><p>"Hey, is someone going to answer my question?" You called after them, but you got no reply.</p><p>You huffed in irritation and really tried to think and recall what could of happened, but you were just drawing a blank. It wasn't long before the nurse returned, and elderly man in a long white coat right behind her, the doctor you assumed.</p><p>He was bald, stout, and had comically thick glasses on his face, but he had a warm aura about him.</p><p>"Mr. Captor," He addressed you with a smile, "How are you feeling?"</p><p>"Like shit," You say with slight irritation laced in your voice, "I might feel better if someone tells me what the hell is going on."</p><p>"You really don't remember anything." The doctor stated, "What is the last thing you <em>do </em>remember?"</p><p>You had to really think about that and-- <em>OH. </em></p><p>Oh... Yeah... Your face fell into something tragically sad and you bite your bottom lip as a swirling concoction of negative emotions blossomed inside you and spread like wildfire.</p><p>"I..." You hesitate, "I remember a fight..."</p><p>The doctor watched you closely and when you didn't continue he spoke, "Is that all you can recall?"</p><p>You look down and stay quiet for a moment before nodding slightly, "That's it."</p><p>The doctor contemplates this for a moment, "Well, I'm afraid what happened after may be a little hard to hear." He starts, grabbing your full attention.</p><p>You look up at him, "What do you mean?"</p><p>"You were brought here because you ingested copious amounts of prescription medications with a rather impressive cocktail of alcohol," The doctor explained, "You also had multiple self-inflicted wounds all over your arms."</p><p>You looked down at the bandages covering your arms, well that explains that... Shit. You took a moment to digest all the information he just gave you, but you still had one question.</p><p>"How did I get here?"</p><p>"A friend of yours found you and called an ambulance," He answered you, "Good thing he found you when he did," The doctors tone turned serious, "If he had found you any later, and I'm going to be frank with you, we probably wouldn't be here having this conversation."</p><p>Karkat was the one who was sitting with you when you woke up and <em>fuck </em>you hope it wasn't him that found you because you don't think you'd ever forgive yourself for that.</p><p>"That's why," The doctors voice broke through your thoughts, "Once we've determined that you are physically stable we will be transferred to a rehabilitation center."</p><p>You shook your head and laugh, you had to at what the doctor was saying to you.</p><p>"You know I really hate when doctors try to sugar coat things," You glare at the doctor, "Just say it like it is, you're sending me to the looney bin, a halfway house, an insane asylum, anything but that 'rehabilitation center' bullshit."</p><p>The doctor sighed, "Regardless of what you would want it called you will be transferred and kept until we have determined that you are not a threat to yourself or others."</p><p>"Great..." You say angrily, "That's just fan-fucking-tastic..."</p><p>"I know that it must be upsetting to you," He said to you as he readjusted his glasses.</p><p>"No shit, Sherlock..." You interject.</p><p>"However," He said firmly, "We have it on authority of your father to keep you as long as you need and to send you where we have to in order to get you the help you need."</p><p>Your eyes widen and you sat up straight, regretting it almost immediately because your body felt so stiff the sudden movement hurt, "My father!?"</p><p>"Yes," The doctor nodded, "He is your emergency contact that we have on file."</p><p>"Okay, so he's an emergency contact, so what?" You hiss, "What right does that give him to make a decision like that for me?"</p><p>You were beyond irritated, not at your father, but at yourself because you could only imagine the stress and worry you were putting him through. It made you feel like a real shitty son to be be honest.</p><p>"He is also on file as your legal guardian in the event that something happens to you that prevents you from making sound medical decisions for yourself," The doctor explained, "And I'm sorry to say that we count attempted suicide as one of those events."</p><p>"You know you're really not sorry..."</p><p>The doctor ignores your comment, "We're going to contact your father and update him on your condition and then we'll determine whether or not you're ready to be transferred," He explains to you, "So get some rest and we'll be back shortly."</p><p>"As opposed to the what that I've been doing for the last four days?" You ask with as much animosity as you could.</p><p>The doctor just smiles at you and repeats himself, "Get some rest." He says before he and the nurse leave.</p><p>You huff and back down, staring up at the ceiling. You couldn't believe the situation you were in. You had had a pretty bad episode right after your mom had died and really you didn't mean for the cut to be as deep as it had been, you had just been looking for attention like a stupid immature brat, but... Your dad had taken it so seriously, taken you to the hospital, gotten you to see a therapist, homeschooled you for a year because he thought that was adding to the stress and anxiety that was crushing you. You remember the look on his face when your therapist had called your name and you had looked back at your dad before walking into the office and he gave you the warmest smile he could, but his eyes... His eyes had looked so <em>fucking </em>sad.</p><p>You didn't understand why his eyes looked like that back then, but as you got older you realized how much you had scared him, how terrified he was that he was going to lose one of his children so shortly after losing his wife. He loved you and your brother with all his heart and he would do anything to make sure the two of you were happy and well and all you had done to him back then was hurt him. You had sworn to yourself that you weren't <em>ever </em>going to do that to him again yet... Here you are.</p><p>You felt absolutely shitty about it all, but you didn't have much more time to think about it when there was a knock on the door and Karkat peeked inside.</p><p>"Sollux...?" He calls your name sounding uncharacteristically softly. </p><p>"KK." You reply, not even looking at him, instead you just continue to stare at the ceiling.</p><p>You can hear him walk closer, "How're you feeling?" He asks, stopping by your bedside.</p><p>"That depends, emotionally or physically?" You inquire, "Because the answer to both is pretty fucking awful."</p><p>He's quiet after that and so are you which creates an uncomfortable silence which only serves to irritate you. Eventually you sit up slowly, it doesn't hurt as much this time, your body must be getting used to moving about again.</p><p>You don't really have the energy to sit up straight so you slouch forward almost painfully curled in on yourself. You fold your hands in your lap and look at your friend and you furrow your eyebrows. Taking a good look at him you notice that he looks absolutely terrible. His hair is completely disheveled, the bags under his eyes are darker and deeper than usual and his eyes red (you couldn't tell if it was because he had been possibly crying or because he simply hadn't slept in God knows how long) and finally he had stubble growing around his chin and upper lip (when was the last time he showered and shaved?).</p><p>He really looked awful and you knew it was your fault. You looked at him somewhat guiltily, "Karkat..."</p><p>"Don't." He stops you, "Don't you dare pull that pitying apology shit with me, Captor."</p><p>You flinch slightly, "Okay..." You really have no idea what else to say.</p><p>He watches you for a moment before he sighs, puts one of his hands in his hoodie pocket and scratches the back of his neck with the other.</p><p>"Look, Sollux," He starts hesitantly, "You really scared me, why the fuck did you do that?" He sounded so sad, so worn down.</p><p>You look down at your hands in your lap, not really sure how to answer that, so you don't. Instead you ask him a question, "...We're you the one who found me?"</p><p>Karkat slid his other hand into his hoodie pocket and shifted nervously from one foot to the other, "No." He answered, "Dave did, I had him check on you while I was at work and he called me after he had called an ambulance for you."</p><p>You clenched your fists, "Great." You thought to yourself. Now Dave knows how fucked up in the head you really are. You weren't particularly close with Karkat's boyfriend, but that's why it bothered you that he had seen you in such a disgustingly low point.</p><p>Karkat must have been able to tell what you were thinking because he broke you out of your thoughts, "He doesn't give a shit how he saw you," He said to you, getting your attention, "He's just glad he found you in time and that you're relatively okay."</p><p>You looked up at your friend and really take in what he's saying before nodding and looking down at your hands again.</p><p>"KK, I..." You pause briefly, "I really don't remember much, but..."</p><p>Karkat watches you intently, "...But?" He encourages you to continue.</p><p>You sigh, taking your glasses off and rub your eyes, "This is going to sound really pathetic and really unhealthily codependent, but I can't and don't want to live without him."</p><p>He's giving you his full attention while you try to verbalize what you want to say. You put your glasses back on and continue.</p><p>"I know I said some pretty terrible things and I want nothing more than to take it all back and I really..." You struggle, "I really, really just want to talk to him for five fucking minutes, just <em>five  fucking minutes</em>, Karkat," You look up at him, "I don't know  what the breaking point was that made me actually do what I did..."</p><p>He bites his bottom lip and furrows his brow, "Sollux, you..." He sighs, "You're right, that does sound really pathetic and honestly it's the dumbest fucking thing you've ever done."</p><p>You glare at him and open your mouth to say something, but he keeps going before you can.</p><p>"I get that you love him and I'm sorry things turned out the way they did, but even in your alcohol addled mind on what fucking planet did you <em>ever </em>think that this would in any way, shape, or form make things better!?" His voice was rising with every word, "Did you ever think for a moment what this would do anyone else!? To your family or friends!?" He had tears forming in his eyes and his voice was shaky, "To... To me?"</p><p>You stare at him wide-eyed, you always knew Karkat was a pretty sensitive and emotional individual, but he was never really one to show it so openly like he was right now, so you were shocked as the smaller man continued.</p><p>"You're my best fucking friend, Sollux, and I can't lose you, I just can't," He says wiping away his tears with the back of his sleeve, "So stop being a dumbass and get some fucking help..." His voice softens, "Okay...?" He sniffles and takes a deep breath, trying desperately to not just straight up bawl in front of you.</p><p>You watch him as he tries to collect himself and after a moment you hold your hand out to him. He looks at your outstretched hand and then to you, an obvious look of confusion on his face. You raise an eyebrow at him and wiggle your fingers at him, trying to encourage him to take your hand. After a moment he does and you grab his hand firmly and pull him into a hug, the angle was weird though so he was half in your lap and half hanging off the bed.</p><p>You struggle to find your voice, to be able to say something, but you can't so you just hug the smaller man awkwardly and tight to you.</p><p>"Fuck you, Sollux," He sobs as he clings to you, "Fuck you."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, fuck me..." You say, your voice wavering slightly, "I know..." You hold him tightly, "I'm sorry, KK, I really am..."</p><p>He stays quiet for a long while to the point it almost makes  you nervous before he finally speaks, "I know you are so please just get the help you need and.." He pulls away from you stand back up, "And don't pull this shit ever again or I'll drag your ass back from the dead only for the soul purpose of killing you myself."</p><p>You couldn't help it, you laugh a little, "What happened to 'you can't lose me'?"</p><p>He narrows his eyes at you, "Shut up, you don't get to joke like that with me yet."</p><p>Your smile instantly faded and you just nodded, "Right, sorry..."</p><p>He sighs, "They'll probably be back to check on you soon, so..." He fiddles with the hem of his hoodie, "I'll... I mean..."</p><p>You smile a little sadly at him, "Go home KK, go take a shower and shave that piss poor excuse for facial hair off your chin."</p><p>He nods, "I'll come visit you once they've moved you, I'll ask your dad where they send you."</p><p>"You don't need to..."</p><p>"I'm perfectly aware of that, Sollux, just be grateful someone would want to go see your nerdy ass at all."</p><p>You laugh a little, "Fair, what would I do without you?"</p><p>"Who the fuck knows," He huffs, "Alright, I'm leaving so... Feel better or something." His face is red, obviously uncomfortable.</p><p>You smile sadly at him, "Get out of here."</p><p>He nods and stands there for a moment before turning and leaving the room, leaving you all by yourself. You sit there staring at the door he just exited from, feeling weird now that you're by yourself. You lay back down and just try to clear your mind of everything that's happened to you recently, you don't want to think about any of it right now.</p><p>You have no idea how much time has passed before a nurse knocks on your door and peeks inside, "Mr. Captor? You have a visitor, but... He wanted permission to see you first."</p><p>"Permission?" You ask confused, sitting up, "Who is it?" Who would want permission to see you?</p><p>"A young gentleman by the name of Eridan? I believe he said."</p><p>Your heart practically stops in your chest and you can almost feel the color drain from your face. Eridan was here? Why? You're happy he wants to see you, but why now?</p><p>"Do you want me to let him in?" The nurses voice grabbed your attention and you just shook your head yes, unable to actually say anything as you tried to gather your thoughts.</p><p>She nods and leaves and after a moment there is the softest knock at your door before, "...Sol...?"</p><p>He sounded... Scared?</p><p>He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, not moving from where he stood, however, keeping his distance. He looked as if he had attempted to keep up his appearance, his hair wasn't as pristine as it normally was and his freckles were in full view, but his eyes looked tired and he, just like Karkat, had bags under his eyes. He wore that stupid black t-shirt with the Aquarius symbol on it that you had gotten him for his birthday a few years back with purple skinny jeans, his fingers adorned with his usual rings. He looked everywhere but at you.</p><p>You look him over as you sit up and try to keep calm, you're chance was here. He was standing right there, this was your opportunity.... But...</p><p>"Why are you here?" You ask him, not really sounding angry or hurt or anything, more... Neutral than anything.</p><p>"I..." He fiddled with his rings, "I heard what happened and... I just... I needed to see you and make sure you were okay."</p><p>"Why?" You asked again.</p><p>He takes a deep breath, "I was scared and Kar didn't tell me much, but I had convinced him to at least tell me which hospital you were at." He paused, "I was scared that I wouldn't be able to see you... That you wouldn't want to see me."</p><p>That confused you that after he was the one who broke things off with you that he would have those concerns, "Well I'm still alive and... Here." You can't really say well because you're not, "Why come see me now, though?" You really wanted an answer to that.</p><p>He took in a shaky breath and finally, finally looked at you, his face falling at the sight of you, seeing you hooked up to a bunch of machines, arms wrapped so tightly, hospital gown hanging off your lanky frame. He took a moment to take in the sight of you before he spoke, "I was afraid..." he said vaguely.</p><p>You raise an eyebrow in confusion, "Afraid? Afraid of what?"</p><p>"That you were goin' to die and that I would never see you again," He confessed, "And with everything that happened between us I just... I was scared that's how things were goin' to be left..."</p><p>That irritated you a little, so all he wanted to do was ease his own mind instead of making sure you were genuinely okay?</p><p>"I know how that sounds," He says taking just one step closer, "But it's not what you think because I can tell what you're thinkin'... Sol," He looked you straight in the eyes, "I wanted to apologize for the rash decision I made and how I hurt you."</p><p>You listened to him warily.</p><p>"I did a lot of thinkin' over these last couple a' days and I realized how stupid I was..." He admitted, "I love you, Sol, and when I finally heard from Kar what happened I almost lost it thinkin' that I almost lost the chance to make things right with you."</p><p>Your heart was racing at this point as you watched the other man spill his heart out to you, your mind was racing with thoughts as you listened to him.</p><p>"I understand if you want nothin' to do with me, but I really just wanted to tell you in person how I felt and how sorry I was," He looked down at his hands and he went back to fiddling with his rings, "I know how backwards that is, considerin' I didn't give you that chance and look how things turned out... I," He looks back up at you, "Can... I mean I don't expect you to, but... Can you at least think of forgivin' me?"</p><p>You stare at him for a long while, looking him over, studying his face, taking him in when you finally speak, "Why are you standing all the way over there, I feel like I'm yelling at you across the room and I don't like that."</p><p>He blinks at you before stepping closer to you, standing almost right at your bedside, "...Better...?" He asks you.</p><p>"Better." You say, "Look, ED, I really don't know how I feel about you being here apologizing to me like this, it is backwards and it makes me a little annoyed to be honest."</p><p>He looks down and nods.</p><p>"However, this really is all I wanted, was five minutes to talk to you," You told him, looking up at you, "So I guess I got what I wanted. Look, Eridan, I was an ass, I shouldn't have ever said what I did and I really wish I could take it back, but I'm kind of really pissed that you would just end it all over that..."</p><p>You watch as his lower lip starts to tremble as he nods again at you, "I-I know..."</p><p>"At the same time, look at me, I'm sitting in a hospital bed because I couldn't handle rejection." You shake your head, "How fucking lame is that?"</p><p>"It's not!" He says to you.</p><p>"Don't patronize me, ED." You glare at him slightly, "I know that I made a dumb fucking choice doing what I did and now I'm gonna have to go through months of therapy, switches to my medication, constant supervision, my dad constantly breathing down my neck to make sure I'm okay, I made a choice and I have to pay for it..."</p><p>He crosses his arms over his chest simply because he really didn't know what to do with them otherwise as he listened to you.</p><p>"I lost you, too, and that's what really killed me on the inside and I couldn't handle it," You confessed to him, "I can't take it sometimes, how much I love you, it's scary really," You sigh and look away from him, "I really  didn't want to know what my life would be like without you so I must have just thought, like a complete fuckwad, that this was the answer..."</p><p>"Sol, I..."</p><p>"Let me finish," You look back up at him, "Eridan, I love you more than I ever thought that I would ever be able to love someone and that does scare me sometimes, I never thought in a million years I would have someone love me the way you do, it's crazy really..."</p><p>You watch as tears well up in his eyes, "I'm sorry, I really am for everything I said and all I want is a chance to show you that it won't ever happen again and that I want us to be okay and... Together... It might sound stupid, but I need you because who else is going to tell me to get off my ass and eat a meal at least once a day, who else is going to tell me to use a goddamn coaster so I don't leave rings on the stupid coffee table, who is gonna tell me all about the goddamn Kardashian's even though I really don't give a shit about them, but will make me listen anyways because the way your face lights up when you talk about things you like makes my heart ache, but in a good way, Eridan," You reach out and grab the hem of his shirt because that's really the only thing you could latch onto, "You make me so happy and I just.. I can't do this stupid thing called life without you." You know you have to be blushing furiously and <em>GOD </em>if anyone ever heard you talking like this you'd never be able to claim your manliness back ever.</p><p>He's straight up crying at this point and he steps closer and sits on the edge of your bed, "S-Sol, I'm really sorry too..." He says sniffling, "I was stupid to break up with you and I'm sorry for that, I really want to give us another try, I really want to be home with you sittin' on our shitty couch, watchin' some shitty movie and then halfway through I wanna start makin' out with you and and I wanna ignore the movie and I wanna tear your clothes off and have my way with you right there on that shitty couch, I wanna wake up with you curled around me and I wouldn't even care that you'd be droolin' on me, I want to argue with you over <em>stupid </em>things like why didn't you take the trash out or to pick up your goddamn socks off the floor, I want <em>you, </em>Sol, I need you, please forgive me..."</p><p>You don't even hesitate, not for a moment to pull him into a hug (as best you could with your IV in your arm) and you do your best to convey everything in that one action, "I love you, Eridan, please, let's... Let's try this again... Okay?"</p><p>He clings so tightly to you, as if you'll disappear if he doesn't, "Okay," He nods, "I love you, Sol." He looks up at you.</p><p>You smile down at him and bring your faces closer, you hesitate for only a split second before kissing him, loving the fact that he kisses you back immediately. It's short and sweet and when you pull back you love the look on his face, the look of utter love and satisfaction of just being near you. You've never met or loved anyone like Eridan before and you couldn't believe he was yours, to love and be loved by, this dork who's heart was bigger than life itself and who deemed you to be worthy enough to be the one he gives all that love to.</p><p>You really wanted to just forget the past couple of days (the ones you could remember) and wished it had all never happened, but your glad he's giving you another chance, though you wish it hadn't had needed to come to this point. You felt pretty horrible about what you put everyone through, but you're going to get help, you're going to do whatever it takes to make it up to everyone, to make it up to Eridan and to yourself.</p><p>You were going to make this right, you were going to fix this. Nothing was going to stop you from proving to Eridan that you could do better, <em>be </em>better for him.</p><p>You'll show him how he's consumed your body and mind with a love dedicated just to him...</p><p>You'll show him.</p><p>--</p><p>Seven months later and  you were standing on the balcony of your apartment, smoking a cigarette as you listened to music and watched the traffic flow on the streets below. Eridan still didn't like you smoking so you tried to do it when he wasn't around (which he wasn't, he was still at work). It was October and the weather was starting to turn colder so you stood outside in that stupid jacket that Mituna had gotten you senior year as a joke (it was a letterman style jacket with one blue sleeve and one red sleeve set against black for the rest of it and a giant cartoon bee was embroidered on the back), your eyes falling closed as you got into the music you were listening to (Somewhere Only We Know) and  you lost yourself pretty far into it because you didn't hear the sliding door open and you certainly didn't hear someone calling your name as you took another drag of your cigarette.</p><p>Your eyes shot open and you jumped when you felt a hand on your back though, you pull your headphones off, letting them rest around your neck as you look behind you and you smile.</p><p>"Hey, ED, I didn't know you were home." You flick your cigarette off the side of the balcony. </p><p>"I just got home and I saw you standin' out here like a loser," He smiles at you, "So I thought I'd come out here and keep you company."</p><p>You chuckle at that, "I was enjoying standing out here like a loser by myself, but I guess I'll let you join me." You lean back against he railing of the balcony and smile at your boyfriend who moves to rest his arms on the railing, staring out at the setting sun.</p><p>"How generous of you." He jokes.</p><p>"What can I say, I'm a giver."</p><p>He smiles at that and shakes his head slightly, "You certainly are."</p><p>You watched him and were a little surprised he hadn't said anything about you smoking yet, but you weren't going to bring it up if he wasn't going to. Instead you turn around and mimic his position, also looking out at the sunset.</p><p>It had been a long and trying journey to get back to this place of comfort between you two, it was a slow build up. You had taken baby steps, you did your therapy, you took your meds religiously now, you even went to an anger management class (by request of your father, but still) and here you both stood, comfortable to just stand in silence and watch the hues of the sky change as the sun slid behind the horizon.</p><p>He had done his part as well, he supported you, he took responsibility for his actions as well, showing you day in and day out that he wasn't going to leave, he did whatever he had to to show you that he was here to stay and that was that.</p><p>You hadn't realized that you had been staring at him until he laughs at you, "Take a picture it'll last longer." He says to you as he shoves you gently with his shoulder.</p><p>"Moments like this can't be captured by a mere picture." You said a little more sappy than you meant to because suddenly Eridan was blushing and sputtering, trying to come up with some kind of response to that.</p><p>You smile and lean down and kiss him to shut him up, you wrap one arm around him to pull him closer and the other one cups his face as you pull him as close to you as you possibly can. It does the trick and he's quiet, returning your kiss as his arms slide around you, his tongue sliding along your lips asking for entrance which you oblige to. You allow him to deepen the kiss as his hands start to roam along your sides before settling on your hips pulling them against his. You reluctantly pull away from him smiling at the way he almost pouts at the loss of contact with you.</p><p>"Let's take this to the bedroom."</p><p>"You know Kar is staying in the spare bedroom, right, and you lack the ability to keep quiet?" He asks you as if you didn't already know (his apartment was being fumigated and Dave was out of town so he was crashing with you two for the week).</p><p>You smirk, "I know." You say taking Eridan by his hand and leading him back inside, "Let him hear, that's what he gets for choosing to live in a shitty apartment with a roach problem."</p><p>Eridan laughs and allows you to drag him behind you towards the bedroom, "Whatever you say, Sol."</p><p>You lead Eridan into the bedroom and close the door behind the two of you and instantly your pulling him back against you kissing him again as you drag him over to the bed. He follows your lead, kissing you as you lay down on the bed, taking your headphones off from around your neck and tossing them to the side along with your phone. You pull him on top of you and you moan into his mouth as he gently grinds his groin against yours. He breaks the kiss and leans in close so he can whisper into your ear. </p><p>"I'm going to make sure the whole building can hear you and the pleasure I'm givin' you."</p><p>You blush furiously and laugh slightly, "I'd like to see you try." You lift your legs to wrap around him, holding him against you as you rock against him ever so slightly.</p><p>He moves down to your neck, pressing hot kisses along it, nipping at your pulse, "Challenge accepted, Captor."</p><p>Oh yes, you were so glad things were back to normal, though Karkat may not appreciate it by the time you two were done with each other.</p><p>Well, you wouldn't have it any other way.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Told you I'd finish it eventually haha. Please tell me what you think, I really appreciate feedback and I hope you liked it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>